New Words for 2006
BLAMESTORMING. Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
TESTICULATING. Waving your arms around and talking Bollocks.
SEAGULL MANAGER. A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on
everything, and then leaves.
ASSMOSIS. The process by which people seem to absorb success and
advancementby sucking up to the boss rather than working hard.
SALMON DAY. The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream
onlyto get screwed and die.
CUBE FARM. An office filled with cubicles.
PRAIRIE DOGGING. When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube
farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see that's going on.
(Thisalso applies to applause for a promotion because there may be cake.)
SITCOMs. Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppiesturninto when they have children and one of them stops working to stay homewiththe kids or start a "home business".
STRESS PUPPY. A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and
whiny.
PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE. The fine art of whacking the crap out of an
electronic device to get it to work again.
ADMINISPHERE. The rarefied organisational layers beginning just above
therank and file. Decisions that fall from the "adminisphere" are often
profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were
designed tosolve. This is often affiliated with the dreaded "administrivia" -
needlesspaperwork and processes.
404. Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404
NotFound," meaning that the requested document could not be located.
OHNOSECOND. That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that
you'vejust made a BIG mistake (e.g. you've hit 'reply all')
GOING FOR A McSHIT. Entering a fast food restaurant with no intention of
buying food, you're just going to the bog. If challenged by a pimply
staffmember, your declaration to them that you'll buy their food afterwards
isknown as a McShit with Lies.
AUSSIE KISS. Similar to a French Kiss, but given down under.
BEER COAT. The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a
boozecruise at 3am.
BEER COMPASS. The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home
afterbooze cruise, even though you're too drunk to remember where you live,
howyou got here, and where you've come from.
BREAKING THE SEAL. Your first pee in the pub, usually after 2 hours of
drinking. After breaking the seal of your bladder, repeat visits to the
toilet will be required every 10 or 15 minutes for the rest of the
night.
BRITNEY SPEARS. Modern Slang for 'beers', e.g. "Couple of Britney's
please"
JOHNNY-NO-STARS. A young man of substandard intelligence, the typical
adolescent who works in a burger restaurant. The 'no-stars' comes from
thebadges displaying stars that staff at fast-food restaurants often wear
toshow their level of training.
MILLENNIUM DOMES. The contents of a Wonderbra, i.e. extremely impressive
when viewed from the outside, but there's actually naught in there worth
seeing.
MONKEY BATH. A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go:
"Oo!Oo!Oo! Aa!Aa!Aa!".
MYSTERY BUS. The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while
you're inthe toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive
peopleso the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.
MYSTERY TAXI. The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning
beforeyou wake up, whisks away the stunner you slept with, and leaves a
10-Pinterin your bed instead.
NELSON MANDELA. Rhyming Slang for 'Stella' (the lager)
SALAD DODGER. An excellent phrase for an overweight person
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