Relationships...

[Twimfy]

Just an update on the situation mentioned previously.

So after a few weeks I got fed up of waiting. Everytime I saw her she would go bright red and look at the floor...had to mean something. So I pushed the going out for a drink think a bit more over text.

When she kept dodging the question I just went nuclear and said to her if she wasnt interested or was just afraid of hurting my feelings then she should just say so. Oddly enough she came back and said that she was interested but didn't like the idea that we worked together because it could get awkward, however she wasn't against the idea of going out with me.

So that was pretty cool but has it happened yet? Has it hell. A few more weeks have passed and at work she's still super shy and I always catch her looking at me. I'm just playing completely ignorant now, hopefully something will come of it one day but I'm not holding my breath.

Sucks though, she is gorgeous. One thing I find really odd though is whenever we talk she often mentions her ex. She hasn't gone into detail but it sounds like the guy messed her up pretty bad. Maybe she just wants to be single.

[graciano1337]

Awe come on! That might apply to a stupid whore who doesn't know any better what a real man is, but usually being confident about what you do/like/act is enough and that doesn't exclude nice and comforting behavior.

lol! i forgot about his post... i was just messing around. xD

@Twimfy Be cautious when dating someone you work with. It kinda depends on how closely you work together as well. It can be fine sometimes, but if it's one of those things where coworkers shouldn't know about the relationship and you have to hide it, and pretend nothing is going on, THAT sucks. That's what I went through and it's still miserable at my work. And if you do end up dating and things end badly... You'll hate your job, and you'll hate seeing her, and seeing her with other guys at work. It's horrible.

You've pursued her, she knows you're interested. Let her come to you. I would try that for a while and see what happens.

[Twimfy]

lol! i forgot about his post... i was just messing around. xD

@Twimfy Be cautious when dating someone you work with. It kinda depends on how closely you work together as well. It can be fine sometimes, but if it's one of those things where coworkers shouldn't know about the relationship and you have to hide it, and pretend nothing is going on, THAT sucks. That's what I went through and it's still miserable at my work. And if you do end up dating and things end badly... You'll hate your job, and you'll hate seeing her, and seeing her with other guys at work. It's horrible.

You've pursued her, she knows you're interested. Let her come to you. I would try that for a while and see what happens.

We work in separate buildings and I can go a whole day without seeing her if I so choose. It's an interesting one. Patience is the name of the game I think.

[graciano1337]

We work in separate buildings and I can go a whole day without seeing her if I so choose. It's an interesting one. Patience is the name of the game I think.

Yeah, with that kind of space, it shouldn't be too much of an issue. I would think anyways, you never know though.

[ave]

One thing I find really odd though is whenever we talk she often mentions her ex. She hasn't gone into detail but it sounds like the guy messed her up pretty bad. Maybe she just wants to be single.

For me personally, this would be a warning signal for a dealbreaker. Not because "he messed her up", but because she seems to be one of those girls who always keep mentioning their former boyfriends. Girls who talk like "oh yeah, I got this from the guy I was dating at the time", "I went there with my ex boyfriend at the time" and "this reminds me of my ex boyfriend's parents, they were just like that" piss me off. ^^ Of course almost everyone has former relationships, but it's one thing to have them and another thing to constantly (either carelessly or intentionally) mention them in front of someone 'new'.

Also related to this topic, I've been seeing the same girl for the past 4-5 weeks. Things seem pretty bright so far, we have given the "relationship status" a shot :P... she's from China and around my age and probably the most georgous one I ever dated - was addicted to an MMORPG once, likes German beer and Rammstein, that adds her tons of bonus points. ^^

[veganx]

I never noticed this thread before O.o

@ ave
My girlfriend studied a whole year in Canada and lived in Vancouver. Let me say you live in heaven. All her friends were gorgeous and most of them with high social standard.
This girl that is "from" China. She's in Canada, right?
I would not say it's a good thing dating someone that's 5k miles from you.

I'm not sure if you should post about myself because I'm dating my best friend. We know each other for almost 10 years, but only for the past 2 years she's living in my city.
She's coursing the same university graduation I did. She loves beer, we usually get drunk every weekend.
We completed tons of games together, the last one was Resident Evil 5 in co-op mode. Right now, we are playing Final Fantasy VII.
Since those 2 years that she's living here we never had a fight. So, I guess I'm blessed :)

[ave]

This girl that is "from" China. She's in Canada, right?
I would not say it's a good thing dating someone that's 5k miles from you.

Oh well, she's pursuing full time studies here in Vancouver for the next 3 years as an international student, so we're in the same situation and won't leave anytime soon except for the summer. Her home is 9000km westbound from here, my home is 8000km eastbound from here. Can't blame us that we got together due to geographical convenience, eh ^^

[veganx]

LOL!
I wish all the lucky for you two to be together, geographically I mean. I had a long distance relationship when I was 15 with a university teach of 24, it lasted 3 years but it was so energy consuming that I don't even consider this kind of relationship anymore.

BTW: what's she applying to? I mean to what university? I heard Canada's university are not hard to join. I was hoping to get a master degree in the future, outside of Brazil.

[ave]

I wish all the lucky for you two to be together, geographically I mean. I had a long distance relationship....

Oh, maybe I didn't express myself clear enough - it's not long-distance :)
Me and her are already studying here at UBC as international students (well, I'm a permanent resident to be exact). And yea, it wasn't easy to get in, at least the program that we're in (Commerce) isn't. We will leave for 2 months in the summer for July and August, but otherwise we're both in Vancouver for at least the remaining three years of the program.

Thanks for your wishes and also the best to you, your gamer girlfriend sounds like an awesome match!
Reminds me of my first girlfriend. She didn't own any games herself, but she was totally open and enthusiastic when I showed her. I still remember how we played DoDonPachi on the Saturn and Tetris DS until 6am in the morning when the sun was already up.

I had a long distance relationship when I was 15 with a university teach of 24, it lasted 3 years but it was so energy consuming that I don't even consider this kind of relationship anymore.

Neither would I! Some of my friends had it, and they all say it sucks. BTW, 15yr + teacher of 24?

[veganx]

Yeah, it was the power of the internet, back then when mIRC was awesome. Well, mIRC is still awesome jut not in Brazil anymore. I found AssemblerGames with a friend I made in irc.

[APE]

Of course almost everyone has former relationships, but it's one thing to have them and another thing to constantly (either carelessly or intentionally) mention them in front of someone 'new'.

I find confirmation bias tends to kick in and I begin to notice something I'm looking for. If you were to record each conversation you might find someone mentioning the weather or asking for the time each and every time you meet as well which really mean nothing on their own. I've got a lot of stuff my ex gave me and I spent a good few years of my life with her so it'd be very hard to discuss anything of the last 3-4 years without her being mentioned at least once. Same with anyone I've been friends with that long for that matter.

I wouldn't consider it a warning sign myself unless they talk at length about their ex and continually steer conversations towards that bit. Either they aren't completely over that person or they should see a counselor in case they were messed up by the occasion. Hell my ex mentioned her exes often enough but like I said you can't spend a great deal of time with someone and not have their name come up every so often. Question is how often is it actually happening.

[ave]

Well, regardless of how much my ex gave to me or anything - apparently it didn't work and I'm looking for something new. So what's the point mentioning that old life everytime? It's not like either of us is 45 and has already had a life at that point. In this situation, of course it's inevitable to talk a lot about a former marriage or your kids et cetera.
I think refraining from mentioning their ex boyfriends/girlfriends, especially in the early stages of a relationship, is just a nice gesture of consideration to show that you're concerned about making someone feel special and new. I also take care never to mention my ex's, and, frankly, I don't think any girl is missing it. So why do it?

And it's got nothing to do with confirmation bias, definitely not. How can I be so sure? Because I'm looking for it all the time, but with some girls you just won't find it, regardless of how biased you are ;) Then again, I dated this one girl whose quotes I used in my previous post. "My ex did this" "my ex gave me this" etc etc, and we only had like 4 dates in total. WTF. I believe some people just do it on purpose to show you how desirable they are. Bad thing is, sometimes it backfires and the target just gets pissed off. :P

[spot778]

This year has just officially turned wacky

Ex-girlfriend gets in touch we're off to a movie tonight, another ex has left her husband and wants me to visit, I'm off to the US at the end of the month.

WTF !

[graciano1337]

@spot778 sounds like a good time to be single! :P

I know whacky, I'm dealing with it right now. And it wasn't until last weekend, I was talking to a friend of mine, that I realized something. I am totally a romantic. I romanticize everything! He told me this and at first I thought, uh, what?? I had never thought of myself that way. But it turns out it's TRUE!

I've been on and off with this girl for almost a YEAR now! But I'm still waayy into her, I can't explain it, I just am. We're currently not together because I broke up with her because she blew me off and avoided me four days in a row and kept going on and on about how there's better girls out there and this other girl is perfect and blah, blah, blah, and nothing I said or did convinced her that she's the only one I want to be with. After a week of that, I couldn't handle it, I just said, you know what, I'm tired of you making me feel like crap all the time for being in a relationship with you. I didn't want to break up, but I did.

A couple weeks after we broke up, I asked a different girl (the girl that is supposedly perfect and my ex thinks i should be with) if she wanted to hang out with a group of friends of mine and go to Dave and Busters. Cuz at this point I'm so upset I'm just like, you know what, maybe you're right, maybe I should be with her. My ex got PISSED. And sent me these HILARIOUS texts. xD The other girl didn't even end up going because she was working. And i didn't follow up with her because I'm not into her at all!

But here's where I show that i am truly hopeless.......

A couple of days ago, my ex and i were talking on the phone. She was talking about these shoes she saw at a store but they didn't have her size, and she wanted them really, really bad. So the next day what do i do? I call around, make an hour round trip to this store, buy the shoes, and give them to her. I don't know why??? =/ I just want to see her happy whether she's with me or not, I guess...

This sorta leads into another complication... Have any of you ever had experience dating your friends' exes? A good friend of mine has been dating this girl for almost 4 years, and they're having a lot of trouble. She's a super sweet girl and he sorta treats her like crap and he knows. I've tried talking to him, but he just doesn't really care and is pretty immature. But here's the thing, I think she likes me. I don't have strong feelings for her, other than she's a good friend and has been dating one of my best friends for a long time. And if she wasn't his ex, I'd like to take her out. But it's one of things that I can't see EVER happening and everything working out. Bros before.... girls. Right?

Anyways, wall of text. Aren't relationships fun, exciting, horrible, and crazy!

[K-Panggg]

This sorta leads into another complication... Have any of you ever had experience dating your friends' exes? A good friend of mine has been dating this girl for almost 4 years, and they're having a lot of trouble. She's a super sweet girl and he sorta treats her like crap and he knows. I've tried talking to him, but he just doesn't really care and is pretty immature. But here's the thing, I think she likes me. I don't have strong feelings for her, other than she's a good friend and has been dating one of my best friends for a long time. And if she wasn't his ex, I'd like to take her out. But it's one of things that I can't see EVER happening and everything working out. Bros before.... girls. Right?

Anyways, wall of text. Aren't relationships fun, exciting, horrible, and crazy!

I have. My last 3 boyfriends belonged to the same "group" and could be called "friends". The two guys I was with before Tchoin and Tchoin himself belonged to that group.

It wasn't something I did out of spite, or for a rebound thing.. It just happened, and nobody was offended. It is sort of weird though, because I've lost touch with that group of people, mainly due to the fact that I really don't like to hang out with my exes, I don't want to talk to them, I don't want them to know anything about my life; but still, every time they get together and post something to Facebook or whatever it sort of feels like a reunion of the K-Panggg ex boyfriends club...
These things happen when people don't have many places to meet new people; you're not betraying anyone... in any case, you'd be betraying yourself if you let an opportunity go by you without seizing it.

If I had done that, I wouldn't be with Tchoin today, and that would be bad for me because being with him is the best thing that ever happened to me.

[Hedgeyourbets]

Wow all this relationship drama, I know i shouldn't be jealous but i am :/
You know your love life is bad when you're jealous of fellow members of a videogame related forum haha

[spot778]

@K-Panggg Have a friend like that too, there was a group of them and at some point I think everyone had gone out with everyone, she ended up marrying one of the guys, he's a good guy and I've never seen her happier.

@graciano1337 You know it :)

@veggav Our universities are MORE then happy to take your money, you'll pay more then we do but...

[ave]

@veggav Our universities are MORE then happy to take your money, you'll pay more then we do but...

It's a freaking rip-off! I couldn't afford to study here if it wasn't for my permanent residence status. Int students pay $17,000-25,000 a year depending on the program. o_O

[HEX1GON]

Sorry to just jump in with my own story (again) but something really weird has happened to me and I have NO fucking idea what's happening so let me explain...

Last month or the month before this girl adds me on Facebook from another girl I knew (Well I met her from a game) anyway, she added me and we started to chat quite a bit. Within the first few days she just comes out and says that she has a crush on me. I thought "is this a joke?" so I played along and I started to get attached over her the odd thing is she is the US and I'm in Australia, while thinking realisticly (I'll most likely never see her). So as I got to know her even more she started liking more and we start giving each other pet names and we started voice calls and it just kept getting on from there.

With the previous posts about girls mentioning her ex, this girl's ex is one of her room-mates and recently he's been trying to get her back. So long story short just last night she mentioned she's going to give him another shot. As soon as I heard that I just felt heart broken, I started to fall into tears and really got upset. I feel guilty for some reason, this girl said she loves me, but yet she's giving her ex another go? Look I don't really understand why she would in the first place and to me she sounds desperate for affection which I've given her as much as I possibly can through chats and voice calls...

I remember her saying she'd wait for me and I mentioned to her I'm coming to the US next year and we can see each other then... So that idea has blown out the window and it was a goal in my life cause she was just the perfect match for me, we had so much in common right into the addiction to gaming.

She's now feeling horrible or possibly torn between a guy she lives with and myself who she knows in another country, but for some reason I feel she's putting all the weight on me about it. Have I done something wrong? She mentioned she feels horrible for upsetting me and the fact that I was so upset I cried for hours. I'm not someone who apologizes over and over again but I feel I've done nothing and she's brought this on herself.

Long distance is a very hard relationship to do, it's not the fact that I want a long distance one, but I can wait until I see her, and that's how I feel.

So now it's how I feel: I'm suffering from a deep feeling in my stomach, my emotions are really skidding out of control. I'm attach to a girl so far away that I've only met through the Internet -- Have I really gone insane? Maybe it's the fact I feel that women avoid me where I live currently, I've never had a girl actually WANT to hold a conversation let alone want to even be around me here. Guess that's part of my depression too. I've been single forever and I guess this whole situation is just holding the place for the empty feeling I have... I really feel pathetic typing the last line -_-

[graciano1337]

I'm sorry to hear you're going through that man. Some girls can be pretty heartless sometimes. I don't think they realize how sensitive us guys can be sometimes. You sound kinda like me, in that when I fall for a girl, I fall pretty hard.

If you say you've been single forever, and girls avoid you where you live, I'd probably ask myself why? I see dumb, ugly dudes walking around all the time with a girl hanging off them. And I always think, well he found someone that likes him, so there's gotta be hope for me. ahaha