those stupids littles lines that make you laugh.

**cahaz** · 08-05-2004

never read a thing on a website or anywhere elsethat make you laugh for no reasons?
well, a start a topic for those ! :drinkers:
th line couldbe taken from this site or others, from a book or a magazine,... but in magazines or book , i would love to have a scan of it plz, and for a line taken of a website , the site too.

post them!

**cahaz** · 08-05-2004

here's one:
the website talked about someone that overclocked the genesis (megadrive) (everyone know what im saying , there was a tread on this..)

an in a comantary , someone that doesn't really know it worked, said:

there's nothing else to say : Sega, it is stronger than you!

You imagine Sonic two times faster? The epileptics will appreciate...

:smt043

(it was originally in french, i translated it.)

here's the original line:
Y'a pas à dire: Sega, c'est plus fort que toi!

Vous imaginez Sonic en deux plus rapide ? Les épileptiques vont apprécier...

and the link:http://www.infos-du-net.com/news/article-2362.html

post your lines!

**GaijinPunch** · 08-05-2004

This was said by a mate of mine last night, at a poker game. One of the local degenerate gamblers (who's actually very good, and plays online for hours on end) was in the establishment that we were playing at, but was on a date. We were eavesdropping on his conversation. One of the guys said, "it's amazing what Japanese chics will put up with to practice their English."

If you've spent 10 minutes in a bar in Japan you can appreciate that. I laughed my balls off.

AntiPasta · 08-06-2004

For some reason the line `Tales of Love, Destruction and other Synthetic Delusions of the Electric Head` on the spine of my recently purchased White Zombie album made me laugh as a fine sample of well-crafted sesquipedalianism.

Or in the book `Swagbelly` by DJ Levien, which I am reading at the moment, one of the characters suddenly blurts out: `This is the Golden Age of genital hemodynamics!` :smt043

Awww guess my brand of `humor` is pretty awkward :p

**cahaz** · 08-06-2004

here's not a line , its a sketch, but that's really... :smt043

COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT . . . .
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: Thanks.I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking
about buying a computer.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.
ABBOTT: Your computer?
COSTELLO: I don't own a computer.I want to buy one.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.
ABBOTT: What about Windows?
COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?
COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look in the windows?
ABBOTT: Wallpaper.
COSTELLO: Never mind the windows.I need a computer and software.
ABBOTT: Software for Windows?
COSTELLO: No. On the computer!I need something I can use to write
proposals,track expenses and run my business. What have you got?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
ABBOTT: I just did.
COSTELLO: You just did what?
ABBOTT: Recommend something.
COSTELLO: You recommended something?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: For my office?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!
ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.
COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, lets just say
I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I
need?
ABBOTT: Word.
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOTT: Word in Office.
COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.
ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?
ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W".
COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with
some straight answers. OK, forget that. Can I watch movies on the
Internet?
ABBOTT: Yes, you want Real One.
COSTELLO: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of
your business. Just tell me what I need!
ABBOTT: Real One.
COSTELLO: If it's a long movie I also want to see reel 2, 3 & 4. Can
I watch them?
ABBOTT: Of course.
COSTELLO: Great! With what?
ABBOTT: Real One.
COSTELLO: OK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What do
I do?
ABBOTT: You click the blue "1".
COSTELLO: I click the blue one what?
ABBOTT: The blue "1".
COSTELLO: Is that different from the blue w?
ABBOTT: The blue "1" is Real One and the blue "W" is Word.
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: But there's three words in "office for windows"!
ABBOTT: No, just one. But it's the most popular Word in the world.
COSTELLO: It is?
ABBOTT: Yes, but to be fair, there aren't many other Words left. It
pretty much wiped out all the other Words out there.
COSTELLO: And that word is real one?
ABBOTT: Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One isn't even
part of Office.
COSTELLO: STOP! Don't start that again. What about financial
bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?
ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer
COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?
ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.
COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
ABBOTT: One copy.
COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy money.
COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?
ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!
A FEW DAYS LATER . .
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?
ABBOTT: Click on "START"..........

**WolverineDK** · 08-06-2004

taken from a page called www.funnypage.dk

C:\>GOLDKEY

Loading...

* * * * * * (TM)
* * * * * * *
* *** * * * * * * * * * * * * *
* * * * * * * * * * * *
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
*
Fun In The Dungeon! * *

You are in a stone walled room, barren and barely lit by a small torch
on a plain table in the centre of the room. A large oaken door on the
west wall is slightly ajar. The odour of rotting vegetation is
overpowering, and reminds you of the urgency of your mission--To have
a great time in a dungeon! You have a gold key.

>GO WEST

You enter a vast courtyard, with majestic moutains rising up over the
well groomed trees in the background. You see a trail of blood,
leading North.

>LOOK BLOOD

The Blood is in a vast courtyard, with majestic mountains rising up
over the well groomed trees in the background. You see a gold key.

>GET BLOOD

You pick up the blood and put it into your pack. You notice a gold
key under the blood. There are some mountains in the background.

>EAT BLOOD

The blood tastes strangely like a vast courtyard and a gold key.

>OPEN COURTYARD

Your gold key does not fit. Try another Y/N?

>Y

You open it, revealing a vast courtyard with majestic mountains and
well groomed trees. YOU FIND A GOLD KEY!!!!!!!!!!!

>TAKE GOLD KEY

Are you sure Y/N?

>Y

Okay... You have a GOLD KEY(!)

>LOOK TREES

They look mighty well groomed. But look at those mountains in the
background! You earn 5 experience points and a few gold keys.

>GO NORTH

Okay, as soon as you look at those mountains.

>LOOK MOUNTAINS

Conformist. You lose a gold key.

>INVENTORY

Gold Key. What else do you need?

>SOME FOOD, PERHAPS?

I don't understand "SOME FOOD, PERHAPS?" Maybe you mean "GOLD KEY."

>OH YEAH, THANKS. ANYHOW, I GUESS I'LL BE HEADIN' NORTH NOW.

Hey, no problem. You are in a gold key, and to the north is a vast
courtyard with majestic mountains in the background and well-groomed
trees. You notice an orc.

>TALK ORC

The orc doesn't understand you. He gives you a gold key, and runs
off.

>FOLLOW ORC

But he doesn't want you to.

>WHY NOT

A phobia from his childhood, he's kind of afraid of strangers. Leave
him alone, he's a good fellow, I'll vouch for him anyday. Anyhow, a
gold key comes up to you and offers to join your party.

>TELL GOLD KEY TO FUCK OFF

"FUCK OFF," you tell the Gold Key, and he joins your party.

>KILL GOLD KEY

With what weapon?

>MY BARE FISTS

The Gold Key laughs at your pitiful effort and dodges the blow easily.
The Gold Key heads North and you are forced to follow along behind,
like some pathetic pack animal.

>GO SOUTH

The Gold Key gives you a stern look. You head North.

>LOOK NORTH

You have to ask the Gold Key what he sees.

>ASK GOLD KEY WHAT IS NORTH

The Gold Key beats you about the head and tells you not to ask foolish
questions. He then proceeds North, at a pace you find hard to keep up.

>PLEASE SLOW DOWN

The Gold key laughs cruelly, and goes faster! Your legs are bloody
stumps! 5 Hit points damage.

>BEG GOLD KEY TO STOP

The Gold Key smiles at your pathetic display of emotion, and slows
long enough to allow to you catch up, then zooms ahead cackling madly.
The Gold Key allows you to know that you are in a vast courtyard, with
majestic mountains in the background and well-groomed trees.

>HELP ME

The Gold Key ignores you. Your party is under attack by several
fierce Orcs! You sit idly by on a nearby rock as the Gold Key bravely
slays them all, gaining 98 experience levels and a plethera of magical
artifacts - all of which are absolutely vital to the successful
completion of your quest. He then burns these and starts kicking you.

>PLEASE GOLD KEY HAVE MERCY, I AM BUT A POOR MAN, NOT SHINY AND
KEY-LIKE LIKE YOU, PLEASE PLEASE

The Gold Key grins evilly and tells you to bend over.

>NO PLEASE ANYTHING BUT THAT

It is too late. You have been brutally raped by the Gold Key. He licks
his lips in satisfaction. He does 2 Hit Points damage.

>RUN SOUTH MADLY WHILE FLAILING ARMS

You manage to break away from the Gold Key's grasp, only to fall into
the arms of a wandering orc. You tell the Orc your troubles and he
says, "I know." He then rips off his Orc costume and reveals himself
to be a Gold Key!

>CRY

You cry. It does 4 Hit Points of damage.

>GO EAST

I don't understand "GO EAST." Perhaps you mean "GO BACK TO THE GOLD
KEY AND DO WHATEVER HE WANTS."

>NO I CAN'T GO BACK THERE EVER IT'S TOO CRUEL I WANT TO BE FREE I WANT
TO KNOW LOVE, TRUE LOVE, NOT WHAT THAT GOLD KEY HAS IN MIND. DON'T
YOU UNDERSTAND? DON'T YOU CARE?

You wisely decide to do whatever the Gold Key wants. He leads you
North and tells you to eat some bugs.

>I DON'T LIKE BUGS

The Gold Key says you love bugs, especially the nice crunchy ones. In
fact, the Gold Key gives you seconds.

>CALL POLICE

Grabbing the handy Emergency Phone right beside the gold key on the
ground, you hear ringing, and an answer: "THIS LINE FOR GOLD KEY USE
ONLY."

>GIVE UP

The Gold Key calls over some other Gold Keys and they start to prod
you with sharp sticks and laugh. He tells you to enjoy it.

>QUIT

The Gold Key doesn't think you should quit. The Gold Key says you are
having a good time. He starts to grab you by th^C

C:\>DEL GOLDKEY.EXE

The Gold Key doesn't want you to delete his game. He deletes all your
other files. Your hard drive takes 4 hit points damage.

C:\>FORMAT C:

You are in a vast courtyard...